Friday night 10 nov

S went off in an ambulance leaving me with Bronko. He’s having some kind of breakdown and kidney pains due to alcohol abuse (apparently). I called his family so that the burden was shared. He was threatening suicide … I was at a loss . Maintaining an emotional distance guarding my wallet…

It’s all so fucked up and I was party to it all. I feel great shame. Here I am pretending that I am without guilt , that it was not me staggering around drunken..

off he went all alone in the ambulance, just like when mum did… I feel bad

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