Sat 25 nov 10:49

On dog walk

They don’t call it fall for nothin

Woke up feeling friendless

Dreamt that I was to become a pirate. Not a swashbuckling Jonny depp but a person about to get wet from sitting in a small hand made row boat handed over by a white bearded retiring pirate. I was searching for waterproof trousers and aware of a potential toilet issue by not choosing a jumpsuit…. go figure…my pirate duties were initially quite simple, I was to wait in my little boat til the other pirates came back from the pub , and was to keep my eyes peeled for smugglers or other pirates who also assumed a low key appearance. I was stationed in some kind of gravely puddle in what appeared to be a railway siding. Also London canal system was in the dream.

I have always had rescue ring dreams of the sea flowing tidal water…

When mum is away the place is instantly a mess, but today I have to go to the workshop.

Just met neighbors that hav been causing my mental strife and on speaking with them I realise that my anguish has been all my own doing.

I am mad and broken in the head like a smashed mirror . The only thing that works, by quirk is my artistic eye…


I was at the posh house as I do, on a Friday eve cleaning . I like going there because the mans dead father was an artist. His paintings hang all over the big 150 year old pile of bricks..lots of pics of his wife, family holidays in the sun on the beach, hot summer days in the garden of said pile… and some early sculptures…and even a self portrait of him looking ever the distainful Stalin.

He did not believe in working from photographs… I guess that when you are born into a big pile and have the luxury of slow time you can afford such notions… I do enjoy looking at his work though it makes 2 hours work turn into 3… and I just imagine him looking all crazy and intense with his easel primed for the scummy bikini season as the collection demonstrates. There are lovely landscapes though and ink drawings like look like handwriting exercises

These are really posh people you can tell because they live in a certain type of decay with no skills to rectify

I am listening to Stephen fry doing the Greek myths in Mythos

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