The book club Hoxton..
Waiting to meet a man about selling some Art..
Sadness due to memories of living here, dying here, leaving here..
Once I was in wales this place became a distant worn out page of a torn up book..when I return it all comes flooding back
Greggs Pride hill watching the homeless . 1hour early for dentist appointment .
Last night went well. PC and no booze. Say there sewing and letting others drink. The smell of wine was enough..
Increasingly enjoying the peace that I can create around me. I don’t have to react to everything. Turning thoughts in my mind like shining pennies
Aberystwyth
Started making an entry the other day but it deleted itself..grrrr
Aberystwyth today in my pink jeep with mum . A visit to the Art school open day at the University.
They were so welcoming and it was as if it were meant to be..
It was so thrilling , sitting in the lecture theatre listening to a lecture, going round the print room , talking to the postgrad students.. the sea view, the black and white tiled floors . A skeleton in the closet.
It was too perfect.
Mum was impressed too
We had chips on the seafront
It’s a beautiful place
Then a drive home and the anticlimax.
A sudden low in spirit. Even a run could not stave it off.. it just made the step down easier.
The decision to complete my education popped into my head with such a relief . (PHD), but the decision cuts and kills all other possibilities. Relationship, family, alcoholism. Scared stuff
By the way the holiday in Spain was great! I drove on the other side, but firstly to be amongst friends was awesome ..
Max died whilst I was away. Oscar has been affected, mum cry’s and still I have not had it affect me..
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